Solo Suspicion

Dear Lily,

I am so distraught and I don’t know what to do. Yesterday, I was folding the laundry and delivering it to rooms. I went to my 15-year-old son’s room. I was in a hurry and my arms were full of laundry, so I forgot to knock.

I don’t know how to delicately describe what I saw. I’m embarassed just thinking about it. My son was under the covers in the middle of the day. Even his head was under. I thought I saw a movement under the blanket that seemed to me like he was, um, pleasuring himself.

I was so mortified that I just quietly closed the door and went back to the laundry room. I don’t know if he ever knew I was in the room.

Now what do I do? Do I confront him? Do I have my husband confront him? Do I just forget it? I’m so afraid he’s going to turn out to be gay or something. Isn’t that what President Kimball said would happen?


Suspicious Mom

Dear Mom,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I must admit a similar thing happened to me. It’s a good thing I’m not using my real name in this advice column. I wouldn’t talk about my family this way if it weren’t so.

I walked in on my Jedediah right in the act, only he wasn’t under the covers. I yelled, “Oh, Jed! How could you?!”

He yelled back, “Mom! You have to knock before you come in here!”

I closed the door, well, slammed it is more like it. I marched right back to the family room where my husband Jim was watching TV and insisted he have a talk with the boy. I don’t now what they talked about but it was difficult to not go in there. Things were strained between Jed and I for the next few days.

While I waited for them to talk, I called the ward executive secretary and demanded an audience with the bishop. The executive secretary had me call the bishop’s home directly. The bishop reassured me that they don’t excommunicate youth for masturbating. I was relieved.

Oh, and by the way, I prefer to refer to things like masturbation by their clinical name. There are so many distasteful phrases to describe it.

Jed saw the bishop and everything is fine now. I begrudgingly agreed to knock before entering Jed’s room in the future. I was also told by the bishop to never call him about this again. I was to urge Jed to come to him, but I should stay out of it. It’s probably for the best.

Lily Dale

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